Sex-Positive Information • Community • Straight/Gay/Kink • New Mexico and the Southwest

    Xcentricities Corsets- Saucy in the Southwest

    Filed under: Julian Wolf — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Julian @ 6:07 am December 15, 2010

    Since 1998 Xcentricities by Ynhared have been helping people “get waisted” by providing quality steel boned corsets to fans across the country. This family owned and operated business is based out of Albuquerque’s own South Valley. They’ve vended in the southwest at venues such as New Mexico’s biggest Kink/Leather/Fetish convention Rio Grande Leather, the Southwest Fetish Ball in Arizona and our own science fiction convention, Bubonicon.

    Nationally, they’re known at multi-media events Norwescon in Seattle and Convergence in Minnesota, the world’s biggest fetish event Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco, the east coast’s Fetish Fair Fleamarket and San Jose California’s Pantheacon. You can find them anytime of year at their website.

    Xcentricities

    So, what’s so special about Xcentricities? Daniel sat down with us to share some details. “We are primarily corset specialists but have made some skirts and full ensembles for formal/fashion and Red Carpet appearances. We are the only corset makers currently offering off the rack corsetry for men, designed in the tradition of European military underpinnings common through the 1880s – deeply masculine accentuating the male v-shape and ‘Parade Rest” body position. (Additionally) we are making a new style The Fallen – mens dramatic trenchcoat flowing lines. Coming up The Dark Rider, in ballistic nylon, made to flow like a trench coat or snap down into chaps. Hot, versatile, action figure wear for men!”

    Just in time for the holidays, Ynhared and Daniel are offering an amazing deal to Saucy Southwest readers and a few of their favorite organizations. “We’re offering 2 for 1 certificates till the end of the month, offer ends 1/1/2011 at the stroke of the New Year. A $50 payment gets a $100 certificate redeemable in January. $250 gets you a $500 certificate” and so on. The gift certificates will be honored any time, just purchase the certificates before the new year. Call Daniel at 505-463-9586 to take advantage of the offer. Visa, MC, AmEx, Discover, mailed payments, and PayPal are accepted.

    So, this is the opportunity you’ve been waiting for. Custom fashion is a fantastic gift for just about anyone. Saucy? Oh, yeah. Supporting local business in the southwest is a great way show you care about your community. Wearing a corset is a great way to show your best assets and show you care about yourself. Confidence is incredibly sexy, and a steel boned corset will (literally) help you stand tall.

    Xcentricities Corsets- Saucy in the Southwest
    • Carnal Conundrums

    Asexuality & Your Beautiful Genitals

    Filed under: Carnal Conundrums, Julian Wolf — Tags: , , , , , , — Julian @ 8:45 pm December 5, 2010
    Hello!
    I am a female, late 20s, basically healthy, sexually active for over a decade. This is my situation: I cannot become fully aroused when I’m with another person.
    I have no moral qualms about sex, I think it’s a wonderful thing. All the physical mechanisms seem to be working just fine, and I can get turned on when I’m alone and achieve orgasm thru masturbation with no problems. But when I’m with a partner there’s a discrepancy. I just cannot get fully turned on, and because of that, I have not entirely enjoyed any sexual encounter I’ve ever had.
    The nature of the relationship doesn’t seem to make a difference. The situation has been the same whether I’m deeply committed to my partner or whether we’re more casual. I used to think it was something that would resolve itself as I became more experienced, but, as I’ve gotten older & more emotionally mature, there’s been virtually no change in this situation. I feel as if I’m missing out on a part of my life by not having a satisfying sex life. This is not an occasional occurrence: I’ve had 2 orgasms outside of masturbation, and that’s out of… Well, out of many, many sexual encounters. Furthermore, it’s begun to effect my relationships in general. Sex was a big factor in the breakup of my engagement 2 years ago.
    Is this a problem with anxiety? Could it be medical or chemical, hormonal perhaps? Or am I just making too big a deal out of it?

    Thanks,
    Lily

    Dear Lily,
    It could be any of the factors you listed. Physiological reasons such as chemical and/or hormone imbalances and a variety of other medical reasons can affect how we interact, particularly in stressful and/or sexual situations. I highly recommend seeing your preferred medical professional to rule out anything physiological, and barring that, check in with a psychiatrist or the like to look into any psychological issues that might be there.
    There is also a chance that there isn’t anything wrong. Some people aren‘t sexual, or just aren‘t sexual with other people. Asexual people are defined as “people who do not experience sexual attraction.” Many people who identify as asexual have meaningful relationships- sometimes romantic in nature- with others. Here is a link on the topic: The Asexual Visibility and Education Network.

    I hope that you find your answer soon, it’s so much easier to have a good time when you’re not worried about your well being.

    Enjoy yourself,
    Julian

    Hey Julian,

    Back in college I had a boyfriend that refused to go down on me because he said I “looked weird down there.” I’ve been a bit shy about it ever sense. My gynecologist says that everything is normal, I just have “pronounced labia.” Is this a big deal? Anytime I’ve seen porn the girls aren’t what I’d call pronounced. Should I keep the lights off, get surgery or what?

    Thanks,
    AW

    Dear AW,

    First of all, I hope you didn’t stay with that boyfriend very long. While everyone is welcome to have preferences, that was a pretty unsympathetic way of expressing his. I am sorry that you had to deal with that.

    Secondly, there is nothing wrong with you, at all. It was a smart move to check with your gynecologist- I’m glad that you did! I could go on and on about how we’re each unique, our genitals are a beautiful thing and lots of main stream porn seems to want to teach us otherwise, but the staff at Self Serve in Nob Hill just put out a video on why you (not just you AW) don’t need labiaplasty. (Labiaplsty is what they what they call the elective cosmetic surgery you don’t need.) The video is a bit shorter than ten minutes, and I highly recommend it.
    (Just keep in mind that some females experience pain and/or discomfort due to abnormally pronounced labia. In these cases, labiaplsty is not so much a cosmetic surgery as it is quality of life necessity.)

    AW, I hope this answers your question and helps you gain some confidence. If having the lights off is your thing, then keep them off, but if you like the lights on- or you enjoy cunnilingus for that matter, find a partner who can enjoy you for exactly who you are.

    Enjoy yourself,
    Julian


    Curious about something in that great big sexy world out there? Julian Wolf is here for you. Ask anything below or email Julian directly at advice@julianwolf.net.
    No question is too out there.
    Asexuality & Your Beautiful Genitals

      Kinky October

      Filed under: Events, Julian Wolf — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Julian @ 3:13 am October 8, 2010
      Ever want to go and meet some kinky people without having to don fetish wear and know the secret password? This month the local BDSM community brings you several chances to do just that. There’s a delicious social, and the state’s biggest Kink/Leather/Fetish event, all in the next two weeks, not to mention numerous other events. Here are some details on the social and the convention.


      Soup Social-
      It’s exactly what it sounds like. Join New Mexico: the Next Generation (NM:TNG) for a social event that involves several varieties of delicious soup.* While TNG’s regular meetings have a limited age requirement, they hold regular socials that are welcome to any adult, eighteen years or older, and this is one of them. Bring $5, your ID and the carb of your choice (bread, crackers, whatever rocks your soup carafe) to the Albuquerque Center for Peace and Justice (at 202 Harvard Dr SE) between 5-8pm this Saturday 10/9/10 and see what all the fuss is about.
      *Oh, and don’t worry if you have dietary restrictions, there will be options for just about everyone. If you only eat raw food or have some other strict diet bring yourself some of what is good for you and/or just enjoy the company.


      Rio Grande Leather Weekend
      If you’re in for a weekend of education, socialization, entertainment and everything you would expect from a conference and a more, head over to the Sandia Courtyard (off I-40 Exit 165, North on Eubank) October 14th for BDSM 101 at 7pm (that’s free by the way, just bring your ID) and then that peaks your interest, come back Friday-Sunday for a full weekend. There’s a opening ceremony, an Exploritorium, a Cigar and Boots Party- and that’s just Friday. Saturday starts early with a Morning Gathering, Workshops with presenters from all over the country teaching on everything from relationships to kinky sign language to spanking and even tea service. The evening is centered around Albuquerque Shines, a variety show featuring performers from as many aspects of the community as they can fit into the time slot. You can buy individual tickets for Shines- the featured performers are Mr. and Ms. Rio Grande Leather 2010 who are stepping down from their local titles but will continue on in their international roles. Tyler McCormick is our current International Mr. Leather (IML 2010) and Jayson Da Boi is International Ms. Bootblack (IMsBB 2010). It’s the first time that New Mexico has been home to two current international titleholders. The International title family is very well represented at Rio Grande this year, International Ms. Leather Mollena Williams from San Francisco will also be in attendance, along with Tim Starkey the current International Mr. Bootblack from Boston. The lineup also includes former Olympus Leather titleholders, and a hand full of past IMsL’s and IML’s. What does that mean for attendees? It means you have a star studded group of people to rub elbows with- and I haven’t even mentioned everyone else.
      This is the 6th year of Rio Grande Leather, and this year’s theme “Paths of Fire” guarantees (yes, we’re going there) a very hot weekend. Come out and be surprised by at the versatility of this very diverse community. The curious, the committed, those who haven’t ever ventured out past their bedrooms and those who have been around for decades- all are welcome. You can get more information and register at RGL’s website. It’s a great way to see what all the fuss is about- come as you are or wear that outfit you keep telling your friends is “just for Halloween.”

      Kinky October

        Celebrate Bisexuality Day

        Filed under: A Quickie Looksie, Julian Wolf — Tags: , , , , — Julian @ 5:37 am September 23, 2010

        18th Century Japanese Tapestry

        Bisexuality is not a new concept, but celebrating it can not only be a political action, it can give you an excuse to have an extra saucy Thursday.
        How are you going to celebrate?

        Celebrate Bisexuality Day

          Saucier and Saucier

          Filed under: Events, Julian Wolf — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , — Julian @ 3:58 pm September 13, 2010

          Albuquerque has been blossoming in alternative areas. We support two large BDSM events every year (The New Mexico Leather League’s Spring Pandemonium, and Rio Grande Leather), a myriad of fetish/kink groups, and regular educational offerings. Self Serve is in the midst of “Sinful September: Celebrating Sex, Kink & Leather.” This month so far Self Serve welcomed world class presenter Midori for two sold-out classes, as well as hosting both the Brickhouse Betties, and International Mr. Leather Tyler McCormick. Still to come, author and BDSM icon Jay Wiseman will be teaching two classes at the store- a week from today “Tight Immobilizing Bondage” and Tuesday, “Negotiation as Foreplay” will be offered- both at 7:30pm. It’s a rare opportunity to learn in close quarters from the author of BDSM: 101, The Erotic Bondage Handbook and dozens of additional articles and books. Attend either class for $25, and enjoy a store discount the day of class. Self Serve also has a library of manuals, erotica, guides, adult coloring books and more to help you celebrate Banned Books Week at the end of the month. We’re really stepping it up as a southwest hot spot, help keep support this great energy.

          From Greenery Press

          Saucier and Saucier
          • Carnal Conundrums

          Sex Happens

          Filed under: Carnal Conundrums, Julian Wolf — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Julian @ 1:23 am September 8, 2010
          Hi Julian,
          I read once in the Alibi that polyamorists are too busy to actually have sex, so I haven’t even broached the subject with my wife. I mean, what’s the point?
          -SD

          SD,

          I am very familiar with the article. To quote “Both separately tell a joke, the gist of which is that polyamorous people are often so busy communicating and learning about themselves, they never get around to getting it on.” This is, in fact, a well known joke in the poly community, which is why both interviewees shared it with the journalist. The fact of the matter is that it is a humorous exaggeration, an “in joke” for those who have walked the poly walk.
          Every serious relationship has times where you need to talk things out, but like most relationships when you don’t have the time to have fun as well the relationship doesn’t usually last. Communication is vital for successful polyamorous relationships, just as communication is vital for any successful relationship, be it business or pleasure.
          It’s true, when you are involved with more than one person, you spend that much more time talking, but you also have the potential to reap great benefits.
          If you’re interested in polyamory, do some research and see what it’s all about. If you’re still interested, broach the subject with your wife.
          I can speak from both personal and professional experience that sex can definitely happen within poly relationships.
          While I am fairly sure that your initials “SD” don’t sound for “Serious Dude” I must say, don’t take jokes so seriously dude. Whether or not you decide to take steps in opening up your relationship, thanks for asking. It’s always a pleasure to clarify misunderstandings.
          If you do decide to take steps towards opening your relationship and need some more advice, please feel free to write back, Carnal Conundrums is here for you.

          Enjoy yourself,
          Julian

          Dear Julian,
          I’m in an on-going long distance relationship and had the pleasure of having my boyfriend back home for a few weeks. I was so excited! But after our first sexual experience my vagina was sore and I never fully recovered. I hope to be better prepared when we see each other again, maybe I was just out of practice? I don’t know. So my question to you is what can make us ladies become sore after sex, and is there anything we can do about it?
          Thanks!
          Sore and stubborn

          Dear Sore,

          There are myriad reasons that sex can make one sore. You might be using the wrong lube, you might need more foreplay and/or there might be medical issues
          Lube comes in many varieties, and not all are body-safe. Some lubes have sugars which feed your natural flour and fauna and can cause yeast infections among other things, some have weird chemicals that can cause negative reactions, and you might have an allergy to any number of ingredients in any number of lubes. I always recommend stopping by Self Serve in Nob Hill where you can have an actual conversation with one of the sex educators there. They know which lubes are good for what (not all lubes go with all body parts or toys) and go out of their way to carry body-safe products. They can also lend some suggestions for foreplay and other ways to get you physically ready for physicality.
          There are lots of physiological things that could be going on, including infection. Finding out now, whether there’s medial issue or not, is the safest way to go. Make an appointment with your medical practitioner (OBGYN specialist if available) and have them check you out.
          Once you rule out any physiological issues and you have good accessories, you should be set. If you still experience some soreness, than your guess of being “out of practice” might be dead on. At that point I would suggest that you keep yourself “in practice” while he’s away. The right insertable toy can not only keep you in practice, but it also has the possibility of adding some fantasy play and hopefully even some phone sex into your long distance relationship. Enjoying physical intimacy with a loving partner can be the best thing in the world.

          Enjoy yourself,
          Julian


          Curious about something in that great big sexy world out there? Julian Wolf is here for you. Ask anything below or email Julian directly at advice@julianwolf.net.
          No question is too out there.
          Sex Happens

            Bubblegum Stockings

            Filed under: A Quickie Looksie — Tags: , , — onan @ 8:01 am August 30, 2010

            tumblr_kpzmae0sn91qzhf15o1_500

            Via.

            Bubblegum Stockings
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