Dear Julian,

When I finally got the gusto to look in to the “kink” scene in ABQ, I was haunted by outdated websites and unresponsive web slaves. Slackers. The Internet is about as far as my gusto has taken me, and I hit a wall! Where’s my online welcoming committee? And what’s the first real, live unintimidating event/meeting I can go to in order to feel normal in my kinkiness?

—The Only Living Sub in ABQ

First of all, you’re not the only living sub in town, and I’m sorry that you got that impression. Here’s a little secret about the “kink” scene—anything outside of the nightclubs is run by volunteers. That’s right, people like me have devoted their time and energy to keep sites up and running, but I don’t know anyone who is independently wealthy enough to let it be their full-time job. Mundane, but true. Now, here’s some help. Most of the larger organizations that produce events/have regular meetings in town have active Yahoo! Groups.

Here’s a list of the groups that do Yahoo! and/or websites that actually get updated.

• The New Mexico Leather League does events—like the upcoming Kinky Karnival on July 25 (details below) and larger events like Spring Pandemonium—has regular meetings and is the cornerstone for the community at large. They keep the most active calendar (with everyone’s events on it) at their Yahoo! group. You need only meet the 18-years-or-older requirement to become a join the group, but if you’re a jerk expect to get bounced.
• New Mexico: The Next Generation is primarily a group for people between the ages of 18 and 36 who are interested in, curious about or already involved in kink, leather and/or fetish relationships. About half the events they throw are for the entire community. Those events are posted on NMLL’s Yahoo! Group and on NM:TNG’s website. Keep in mind that The Next Generation’s Yahoo! group is only for people who fit within the specified age range.
• Albuquirkies is a group for any New Mexican who’s kinky. Simple as that. They follow one basic rule of “Play nice,” and they have conversations covering everything from orgies to yard sales. They also announce events on their Yahoo! group.

The next “real, live unintimidating event/meeting” you can go to depends on what you’re looking for. NM:TNG is putting on a Box Social on Friday, July 17. Show up at Tiguex Park around 6 p.m. The bidding for dinner starts around 6:30 p.m. Need more details? Contact TNG’s Outreach Coordinator at hannahphi@gmail.com. Everyone is welcome. It’ll be low-key and a good chance to look around at everyone when they’re in their street clothes and not dark dungeons.

The Kinky Karnival on Saturday, July 25, from 7 p.m. to midnight is literally going to be fun and games, complete with a costume contest, a chance to play and the opportunity to get information on all the groups in town. Tickets must be purchased in advance and are only $20. Pick yours up at the Alibi offices (413 Central NW).

There are more groups than those listed above, of course. These are just the ones with the most active web presence. Additionally, there’s the “Power Munch” put on by Alternative Erotic Lifestyles (AEL) the third Monday of every month, 7 p.m. at Sandia Casino’s Thur Shan Buffet. The topics vary greatly and it’s about an hour of socializing and about an hour covering the topic of the month. Topics are always related to alternative erotic lifestyles and usually touch on relationship or kink skills. There are sometimes up to 60 people there, but it’s a friendly environment. There are also bar nights (usually supported by the Leather Wolves) and other frequent happenings.

I recommend checking out those online groups. They’ll be happy to serve as your welcoming party. They’ll also let you know when, where events are happening and what to expect at them.
Hope to see you out there soon!

Enjoy yourself,
Julian