Dear Julian,

I am a guy who loves wearing pantyhose. I would like to find girls who enjoy my fetish. Do you think there are any girls into this in this town? If so, where should I look?

Dear Guy,

I’m sure that there are girls who would enjoy what you’re into; but before we get to the wheres and whys, I want to clear up a common misconception. The people you find to play with do not have to have the exact same fetishes as you—just enough of an open mind and hedonistic outlook to enjoy them. The fact of the matter is that females are much less inclined to have fetishes than males. That does not, in any way, mean that we’re any less freaky. But it does mean that the likelihood of finding an exact match is very small. Do you need an exact match to enjoy yourself and engage your fetish? Heck, no! (more…)

Note from Julian regarding the last CC: One of my cadre, a medical professional, pointed out that loss of sex drive is frequently due to medical reasons. Everything from chemical and/or hormone imbalances to a variety of other issues can cause this. If this happens to you or your partner, please check with your doctor!

Dear Julian,

I’m bisexual—is Pridefest for me?

Not Bi-Curious, just Bi

Dear Bi,

Absolutely! Albuquerque Pride Inc. is a non-profit whose main goal is presenting a positive image for the GLBT (that’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender) community. That absolutely includes you! Pridefest, the Pride Parade and all the other events (starting in Morningside Park at 6 p.m. Thursday night) are not even strictly for us queers. Heterosexual advocates, family, friends, lovers, your lover’s lovers, your pets (Friday night features a pet parade), exes and future honeys are all welcome. I worked with Pride for several years as a volunteer and also served as Ms. NM Pride 2006-2007. In fact, I was the first female titleholder who was not lesbian-identified. I identify as pan-sexual (it’s a similar to but more inclusive concept than bi) and that fact was not a detriment in any way to me running for and winning the title. I’ll likely have my official crown on during the parade. Look for me on the Alibi’s Space Glam float!
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